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 Higher Dimensional Relationship
The
Western expression of relationship in the third dimension has traditionally
been based on conditional love and fear-based monogamy. Ever since
we discovered the state of romantic love, many centuries ago, we
have crawled along in this framework. This style of relationship
has wholeheartedly embraced secrecy, expectation, control and manipulation.
All of which seek to continue the illusion of separation.
In the third dimension this was fine, after all, the whole idea
of this density was to experience separation, which we have mastered
superbly. Our struggles have resulted in pain and fear. We now know
that this is the result of separation. Time to move on, surely.
As the Ascended Master, Serapis says, "The experiment has been
a stunning success. Time to pack up the apparatus and go Home."
It is now time for integration, or reintegration. This is what our
ascension into the higher dimensions is all about.
Many of us over the last three decades have wanted to create bliss
in relationship, longer than for the first few months. Many have
dreamed of a relationship which went beyond what our parents accepted
as normal, and rarely challenged. Many wanted to fly! This is reflected
in the divorce statistics of the 70s. We may not have consciously
known what was happening, but we knew we wanted change.
This movement was the beginning of creating relationships with Unconditional
Love (really the only Love there is) as the basis. But how can we
create this type of relationship when we are still fearing that
our partners will not comply...? We cannot embrace unconditional
Love (and trust, honesty and allowance, which are all an integral
part of Love) and still be dependent upon others for love. This
is wanting to relate from the perspective of the higher dimensions
while still looking through a window from the third.
The beginning of this "new-found" relationship is with
yourself. Begin by choosing to love yourself above all others. Does
this sound like a line from the Bible? Change the word "yourself"
for the word "God". When we look within and find God,
we begin to allow Love to flourish from within. Dependence is about
looking for love externally to fulfil our inner needs. If Love is
bursting out of us, how can we be reliant upon anyone else for "their
love". There is always enough Love to go around. There is never
a shortage. Love is God. Love is everywhere and everything. We are
Love and Love surrounds us. Every morning upon waking, say to yourself,
"I Am Love. I Am God." Affirm one hundred times a day
your divinity. Know this to be Truth.
When we allow true Love to be present within, we no longer need
fear the external. We are living in the present - the only place
there is. If our partner is out late, or even having dinner with
a friend of the opposite gender (or the same gender, depending on
your current sexual orientation), we can choose not to fear. Fear
is only the perceived lack of Love. When we are in the present and
filled with Love, we can only feel Love.
When we are in fear, we are living in the past or the future. Fear
is expressed in anger, jealousy, possession and feelings of neglect
or abandonment; in fact, anything that we perceive as negative.
All of these are valid and true aspects of who we were. They are
all there as remnants of our experiment with separation. They wish
to be freed now as we move forward into the knowingness of our own
divinity. If you feel fear in any form, allow it and know it is
there to teach you of your big Self. Acknowledge its existence and
its service. Learn from it, love it for this lesson, and then allow
its release.
In the past, secrecy has been part of relationship because we found
it difficult to believe that our partners would truly love the real
person deep down. If, deep down, you Know yourself to be God, how
could they possibly not love you? But, more importantly, how could
you possibly not love you! If you trust yourself and are
truly honest with yourself, secrecy has no part in your life. If
your desire is to know who you are, then you become honest with
yourself and examine your own feelings as they arise. Your understanding
of yourself can only increase and your relationship grow stronger.
As you feel stronger within, the external will begin to reflect
this. As within, so without.
We created monogamous marriage to give ourselves a secure base for
viewing the world. We become a partner in a marriage, shut the door
behind us, lock it, and breathe a sigh of relief. We can now view
the society we left behind from the safety and control of this limiting
security. We don't have to mingle closely with others, any more.
It is safe, but is it Loving?
If we are deemed successful, we keep the caring feelings only for
our partner, and any children that come along. But, are children
truly wanted within these walls, intruding upon our safety and comfort?
How often, when the children reach teen-age, are our relationships
with them tended with care and understanding? These beings become
"difficult", don't they? They challenge the controlled
environment. Teenagers, being less limited and fearful, show their
parents vividly what is really happening. How do the parents invariably
choose to react? With judgement. The parents teach them that relationship
is about fear, not Love. The children are learning faithfully about
separation, not unity; because this is what the parents feel safe
with. They invariably learn about disharmony and violence, not Love.
Any violence is a call to wish to learn about Love.
If we trespass outside the controlled boundary of our safe place,
and express our true Self, we "lose control" and invariably
"get caught out". We react with secrecy and suspicion
- fear. Instead of exploring those feelings and discovering what
is really going on, we choose withdrawal and separation. We increasingly
choose divorce in blame and fear - but at least there has been some
movement!
If we allow each of us to be sovereign beings; in fact, beings of
Love, we can exercise our choice of relationship. If we desire a
monogamous form, then we can choose this in Love, not through fear.
We are then open to allowing our partners, as well as our children,
their own expression as beings of Love.
If, for example, we desire to stretch the boundaries of heterosexual
monogamy and experience the unity of polygamy, or a same-gender
relationship, who will be offended? Offence comes from judgement.
Perhaps someone is offended who is in a monogamous relationship
and is fearful of their own external desires. They are in judgement.
All choices of relationship are neutral. The judgement comes from
conditional love and is fear-based. The beings expressing their
Love within other types of relationships can be doing so in trust
and allowance. If we are choosing from Love, we can create relationships
with any number of people, sexual or not (sexuality is merely one
expression of our energy, not the only one), based on self-connectedness;
not on being enmeshed in another's insecurities.
We cannot be responsible for the needs, or fears, of others. We
can only ever be truly sure of our own feelings. We can assume,
based on past reactions, how others might react, but we can never
truly know in the moment. If we hold back about a feeling for fear
that our partner will react with anger, aren't we expecting and
judging our partner to be always in the past place? We may be preventing
them from the discovery of their true feelings. Our partner may
have moved from the place we expected them to be. Perhaps they express
the anger we feared. Isn't that wonderful! We have both created
the opportunity for them to release an emotional blockage, which
may have been holding them back from other knowledge of their divinity.
If we don't express 100% our feelings, we are not only limiting
ourselves; but, incidentally, limiting them from expressing themselves
100%. All expression is Divine.
Fear is expressed when beings are still in struggle. Pain is the
result of struggle and resistance. Struggle comes from a dishonesty
with, and lack of Love for, self. The result of all this is emotional
dis-ease, then physical dis-ease and finally, death. This is what
we have been accepting as humanity's lot in the third dimension.
You don't have to accept this any more! Know that you can choose
otherwise.
Of course, you are free to choose either way. But, be aware that
you cannot choose both. If you desire to express unconditional
Love then you will embrace honesty, trust and allowance as well.
The first step is to be allowing of all your partner's expression,
even anger and, yes, blame. Don't take it on board, but allow its
expression. Over time and with experience, it will fall away. If
it ceases to be reflected back by you, it will not need to be expressed.
Be patient with yourself, as well as with your partner. You are
choosing to take full responsibility for all your choices and feelings.
Every event that happens, has been created by you for your own learning.
You will surrender control and completely trust highest wisdom and
accept this wholly. You will now have moved beyond the need to create
victimhood and righteousness (claiming the high moral ground) as
a way of limiting your growth.
We can allow our relationships to be barometers of our own personal
growth and not our only reason for being. We can allow them to be
distractions from God, or we can use them as tools on our spiritual
path. There can be painful times; your partner may not choose to
grow at the rate you wish to. This is his/her choice. You may choose
to remain with them in allowance and non-expectation. To be true
to Self, as well as in consideration for the growth rate of your
partner, you may choose separation - with LOVE.
If you desire to rise above the limits of third dimension you will
discover the freedom of spiritual sovereignty. You will be able
to know who you are and be able to express this 100% within all
the relationships you develop along your path through life. Each
being you merge your energy with, either sexually or not, is knowing
you, and being themselves, 100%. How can this be anything other
than Love?
At this point we are truly able to view with Spirit's eyes... Only
then can we see that every moment is perfect and every moment holds
a gift. We can see that we are indeed, co-creators of this divine
choreography. We can transcend the mediocrity of "coping"
and we can fly Home TOGETHER! We can live as God, the Divine First
Principle, intended.
Copyright
1996 Selenna
 But what might a relationship without fear
be like?
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